Welcome the first inaugural award season for being a terrible poker player. If you made the list, you probably need to work harder in the off season – play some online poker, read a book on poker – and come back next season and try not to end up with a shitty statue (a Smallie).

Top Gun award (Least improved) – Mitchell! Went from last place in season 6 to 3^rd last in season 7. But we added two players this season, so…. 

Jay Salsa award (You should Retire) – If we graphed Sean’s poker playing over the course of his career it would look be much like: 

Don’t go in There award (It smells like shit) – He had record quad-dump at a tournament this year.  Put your gas masks on for Mr. Open Door Shits: Darren! 

Bobby Bails award (Most tournaments missed) – This was a tough one as Adam bailed on the whole season but did find a replacement who was suitable to his style of play.  So we’re tossing this Smallie in the lap of Pete W.  He started off the season strong but went MIA on the last few tournaments. His Cruel Intentions co-star has also thrown him in under bus. Guess he’s never seen Band of Brothers.

Dirty River Rat award – This despicable award goes to Gaige with his infamous trip kings over bullets on Bobby. What made this hand even worse is that 12-Gaige put Bobby on Aces and still called.  Let’s not forget the 4th king that was in another player’s hand.

How could you call that award – “This is a story of a Hurricane. A player the league came to name, for cards he didn’t know how to play… Yet in mind he was the champion of the wooorld…”

Fake Gasm award (Did he just do that? Award) – Weather he was playing cards or talking in conversation, we all thought it more than once: “Bryan, did you really just do that?” Boom. Roasted.

I think time stopped with your internal struggle to call or fold award – Darren P didn’t really struggle with calling because he was set on auto fold. Still it took him a record 20 minutes to fold in a tournament where he came in third.  Coincidently it was the latest a tournament ended all year!

Worst Host of the Year –  Mitch and Doyle’s host was so bad they didn’t even stay around for to see how it finished. Mitchell escaped out the front door as soon as his poor play cost him the tournament and Doyle houdini’d the fuck out only to reappear as bodies were heading out the door. But at least the mother fuckin’ cheese was cut!