Do you see that? There off in the not too far horizon. Rising from the shadows is Season 8 of the BBPT. But as light attempts to shine down and provide life to new narratives on a new season, a dark cloud looms. As the wind picks up with every hand shuffled and the rain beings to pound with every bad beat, thunder begins to sound. It could be the sound of Mitch starting his car as he leaves early, but it’s a bigger call for concern. It’s more menacing than the thought of a third Bryan bad host. It’s something that’s been rumbling for the last 7 seasons: the greatest BBPT champion of all time. The league could be divided this season, split like a lightning bolt hitting conjoined twins. And who you rally behind could be the difference between a winner and loser.

On one side of the ring we have the first dominant star of the league: Kyle. His entrance into the league is reminiscent of Hulkmania. Destroying competition with leg drop after leg drop, winning title after title. But as he entered his later seasons, he’s turned villian and created a New World Order to reek havoc on the league. While championships have not been as they once were, he still manages to stay relevant by being in the money. That was until last season – a season where Mike became the first back to back champ.

 

Mike’s trajectory in the league was a little slower and to less fanfare than that of Kyle but with patience and a shit ton of rye, he made a name for himself much like the Heartbreak Kid Sean Michaels. He’s not your sexy boy. He’s not your boy toy. He’s taking your fucking chips with some sweet chin music. Yes, Mike’s at the top of his game and one more championship will give him a unprecedented 3-peat and a statement that the crown, septor, and thrown is his.

But this BBPT analyst doesn’t antipate Mike to just take the title with ease. If Kyle has taught us anything over the years is that his skill and tenacity are second to none. He has an unwavering ability to not let things go, and remind you that he is always right. If you’re not on his side be sure he’ll be flinging his hand in the air with a circular motion just before he brings it to his ear just so he can gloat that he’s the GOAT.

And maybe this won’t phase Mike and his bad boy persona of finish the rye, win or lose, no fucks will be given.  He’s ready to step in the ring and thurst his hips at the crowd as we all marvel at the showman.

Each event this season will be like a PPV event and as the storyline unfolds we’ll might hurtling towards a Summerslam event so spectacular you better Coco Beware of what’s at stake. Septembers our King of the Ring – a goddamn melee of wrestlers who bash the shit out of each other and toss them over the ropes until one man is standing. That man could disrupt this whole narrative and lay to waste who’s the greatest by forging a new path or stepping up to challenge the two on top. Let’s look at some other wrestlers/players that could drop an elbow on the league.

Mankind aka Smallers – This guy is a champion but wholly hell he’s taken some punishment along the way.

Million Dollar Man Ted Dibase aka Danny – This guy is all flash. While he’s happy to count his money. A championship is probably not in the cards.

Ultimate Warrior aka Adam – Intense energy and a crowd favourite. Not to mention he has one a belt. But father time has taken care of this one-dimensional character.

Stone Cold Steve Austin aka Bobby –  Beer drinkin’, trash talkin’, and tellin’ us when break is ‘cause Stone Cold said so.

The Rock aka Jeff F – Full of himself and his J5 all-ins but so much damn charisma it’s too hard to hate him. “Can you SMELLLLLLLLLLL… the mozza sticks cookin’!?”

The Undertaker aka Dan L – Been around forever, comes late to the party and tombstones everyone with a little dabby doo!

Golddust aka Chris – A controversial figure and most don’t know how they feel about him especially when he wears the deep v-necks.

Triple H aka Phil – Stealing hearts since Worm’s Women, Phil is the only one with pedigree of a Royal Flush.

Ravishing Rick Rude Aka Cruel Intentions aka Jay – This guy loves himself so much he’s looking in the mirror as he reads this comment.

Brett the Hitman Heart aka Darryl – A technician in the ring and kids seem to like him!

Owen Hart aka Jeff T – Brother of Darryl and some would argue a better rasller.

Brooklyn Brawler aka Bryan – Greatest jobber of all time.

Brutus the Barber Beefcake aka Doyle – An absolute maniac. Hogan seems to like him.

Ax and Smash (Demolition) aka Chris B and Darren – Especially after a Darren quad-dump.

Jimmy Supafly Snuka aka Gaige – Lots of energy and hits insane heights off the river.

Virgil aka Mitch – More of a manager than a wrestler.