Hello there poker fans, this is your favorite poker reporter Cliff “Runner Runner Chaser” McDougal. As I sit here in my empty house I am reminded of 2 things in life. One is that the second tourney is upon us and the second is trying to get you wife to join in on a four way is a bad idea. Especially when her role is to hold the camera while you and three “legal” immigrants reenact the love scene from deliverance.
Let’s talk poker as I have received quite a few email questions on the upcoming tourney.
Q: Will Pete W be able to recapture his amazing run of cards this month to win another title?
A: Probably not as many still don’t believe he was able to see the cards and was pulling the Mike special of playing crazy eights for the majority of the tourney.
Q: What effect did Hurricanes lack of dealing knowledge have on the last tourney?
A: To be honest it wasn’t the lack of dealing, it was him trying to play duck duck goose every time he was dealt cards that caused the most issues. It was rumored that he met with Chris D on dealing and now knows how to spill beer on the cards and blame others for it. This should end well.
Q: What should we expect from Sean this month?
A: Sean’s play has been more up and down than a hooker on pay day. Expect the same and don’t be surprised if this tourney he goes down again (just not in the loser lounge like he did last tourney).
Q: Jeff F made a statement when passed over during the draft. Will he have another strong event?
A: Jeff is playing with intent to do damage this year. He’s playing poker like he plays hockey, going for the win and most likely doing an odd move right when he’s about to score. He will then most likely punch someone in the face.
Q: What’s in store for Danny and Kyle as teammates this month?
A: Danny has to play better or Kyle is going to lose it. Let’s be honest though, Danny could win it all and Kyle will still yell at him for being shit.
Q: Are the teams wearing matching shirts this tourney?
A: After the recent election, my sources tell me that Bryan is urging everyone to wear a red shirt in support of the new government. We will be happy if Mark wears a shirt to this event.
Q: Phil has been a consistent player every year, but hasn’t won a tourney in a long, long, long time. Is this the tourney he breaks out?
A: Unfortunately I don’t think so, as Phil is the all time record holder in dealer minutes. He doesn’t want that streak to end.
Q: Is there another date night in store for Adam and Kevin this month?
A: Many insiders believe that this relationship has gone cold and chances are good that Adam and Kevin will be there this month. Although this could change as it’s rumored this was a nasty break up over the ‘black hammer’ date and maybe only one would be there.
Q: Darren and Chris B are hosting and there is talk of no beer being purchased by the hosts for the players. Is this true?
A: This is 100% false and there is no way they would pull a douche move like that. Only a true ass clown would act like that and I don’t see them wearing face paint.
Q: There was a pretty big difference in points between Darryl and Jeff T last month as Darryl out scored his brother. Will this continue?
A: Darryl has proven that he is the better poker player in the family and has guaranteed that this won’t change. Jeff has reportedly called his parents and complained that his brother is picking on him.
Q: Will Booby “Break Time” have another epic collapse this week?
A: Not sure I would call it a collapse or reality setting back in. Either way Bobby is looking forward to the loser lounge and amazing conversations about poker, golf, aliens, and cosmic travels.
Q: What has Jay done to prepare for this week’s game?
A: Jay has decided to take up online poker to get better for the next tourney. Unfortunately he decided to play blackjack, this should end well.
All right guys this is all the time I have as my buzz is starting to wear off and I need to sleep. Well I really need to call my dealer and get an eight ball and then go pick up a hooker, but I will sleep instead.