Hello there poker fans, this is your favorite poker reporter Cliff “Runner Runner Chaser” McDougal back from a 4 day meth binge. It’s amazing what you can get accomplished inside a hotel room with nothing but your thoughts, a pad of paper and 3 Asian hookers. Thankfully I walked out a reformed man, unfortunately I did not have my wallet or self respect. But hey you win some and lose some.
Now here is where I usually talk about everyone and what can happen, but let’s be honest there are only 5 players that matter. Well 4 but like the chances of ‘Stats don’t matter” Denely winning this week, there is always a chance.
First we have the “King of the cards” Roos, who is looking for his 3rd cup in six years. He’s like the Blackhawks of the BB Poker team, highly talented and plays fast. My bet is that when he wins the cup he dedicates this win to his family and friends. Actually that’s a lie, Roos will thank himself and reminds everyone on how shit they are and that they are lucky to have him at their table.
Next we have Mike “that chance may never come again”. He has more up and downs this season than a hooker on payday. His drunken style of dumping chips early and then getting them all back later is really working. People can’t seem to read Mike later in the game and I believe we have found out why. A poker player has tells when they are gambling, Mike gets so hammered he forgets he is playing cards and believes he is just hanging out playing Nintendo. So I would suggest that playing against him you should remember this one line “We had them at Anaheim”
“I hate poker” Hiller is up next. Many are shocked at this play this year, but if you look at his play over the years… yeah I have nothing. I have no idea how this guy wins or keeps in the top 3. Unless he has gone rain man and started counting cards, its my opinion that this flash in the pan will fall out of the cash, lose the Joe bags hand and then go back to making fun of people. It is believed Hiller is hoping to have a repeat of the “greatest table of all time” again. Just need a table full of drunks and Forsyth singing again.
Now we have “I am a smart guy’ Timko looking for cash this year. Timko has stormed onto the scene a few years back and uses his mathematics on how to catch cards. Although there is an asterix beside the chips he collected from “First out gate”, many were able to watch him collect a ton of chips and then dump them all to the rightful owner of the “first out” Pete. We wonder if he will be catching cards or talking about what could have been later in the evening. Only time will tell.
The other Timko needs a prayer to get into the money, but hey all you need is a chip and a chair. Hopefully he loses both very soon to help the others win cash. But stranger things have happened.
No real need to talk about the others as the slogan goes ‘play the man not the cards” and these players have no idea what that means. Good luck in the Joe bags hand, it’s fitting that only one will win and the rest will feel like they have all season. Like losers!
So as we end this season there are a couple truths to be told
Mike will most likely play those pocket 6s this time
If Roos loses he will explain that he lost because other people caught
Palorine will always shit with the door open
Phils royal flush was awesome
Doyle and Salmond are the 2 worst hosts in BB Poker history and this will never be forgotten or not reminded to them every game for the rest of their lives
Roos Jr will have a bounce back season and finsh in the top 5
Smallers over raises are so recognizable that Ray Charles can see what hes doing
I will leave you with this before I go back to my hotel room for another bender. Meth is good, credit cards are not for strippers and holy fuck Denely is shit at poker