Hello there poker fans, this is your favorite poker reporter Cliff “Runner Runner Chaser” McDougal back from my 200 hours of community service. Two things I want to say first, 1. This season has been crazy and 2. Picking up meth on your way to community service is the best worst idea ever.

So we are in the home stretch of the season and the race for the top spot is intense. Mike “Rye Eye” is the closest to catch “All I Do Is Win” Roos. With Mike’s three wins and three horrible finishes, he has points to burn and it has been rumored that he is only one point away from claiming the top spot. As many know this happened in the past, but it didn’t work out the way Mike would have liked it. Although ‘Quiet the baby is sleeping” Hiller is in third, many believe he will now go back to his old ways and stop caring about poker. He was quoted as saying “Best season so far and the win last week helped. But let’s be honest I don’t belong here and Roos reminds me of that a lot”.

Brothers Jeff and Darryl are next in line with a chance to gain a “Year End Money Spot” and they like their chances. One brother was quoted as saying that “we are family and we do everything together and by everything I mean everything”. Let’s just leave that there because it may disgust and arouse some of you (hopefully both). Phil “hey its flower day” is in the mix as well but many are wondering if he will be thinking of the game or if his petunias are watered enough.

Danny “as ryetarded as Mike but won’t admit it” will most likely not be at the game. Some say its work others say its because he’s hammered and still trying to figure out how to play at a normal speed.

The there are the rest, would like to talk about them but really why talk about those who don’t matter? Speaking of those who don’t matter, there is a rumour that Jeff is looking to regain his fastest out title from Pete. Jeff has said that he’s going to treat this game like sex with the wife ‘it will be fast painless and no one will even know I’m there”.

Question of the month.. Will “Shouldn’t of touched the cup” Denely get his average above 2 ppg this week? He will have to play the best poker of the year and many feel that it’s only possible if he is dressed for success. That’s right ladies and gents; the deep V-neck needs to come back!

So before I sign off I want to answer a quick letter from my fan mail

Dear Runner Runner,
My wife wants to have the lights off for earth day and I’m not sure how to make her happy but still have a game played. What should I do?
Sincerely
Yellow Taxi Cab

Hey Yellow Taxi Cab
This is a tough spot you are in but I think I have found a solution. Have you thought of maybe a nice romantic dinner? Just imagine you and her dressed up and having dinner at home that you have made. Start with a nice appetizer of frozen meatballs and a brick of cheese. For the main dish just have some uncut pizza and beer (the beer must be warm and left in the car not the fridge is the best spot). For desert enjoy some half eaten nachos and three non chewed wings. Nothing says class like that type of spread. The she will be more than willing to let you keep the lights on, during poker and other times if you know what I mean.
Hope this helps,
Runner Runner

Good luck to all this week and remember “If Denley isn’t yelling at you, you’re doing it wrong (that’s what she said™)”