Who cut the cheese?

No one cut the cheese, but last Saturday’s host sure did stink. The tandem host of Mark and Bryan saw the worst spread the league has ever seen. It started with the co-hosts being late for their own event, and spiraled miserably out of control after that.


Chris D tried to explain that the hosts were at a surprise party for Bryan and that they’d eventually show up. Thankfully, Bobby was able to provide about cocaine’s ounce worth of beef jerky. The league being understanding and sympathetic gave the duo some leeway until they showed up. That’s when the host went from bad to worse.

Rather than prepping anything, they let the league — which features many players pushing the limits of maximum density — feast on a table like raccoons in a restaurant dumpster. Uncut pizza and cheese, soggy nachos, and frozen (yes you read that correct) meatballs. It was amateur hour on a whole new level.

They’re been some major mistakes with hosts over the years — ahem Danny, September — but people have managed to step up and come through. I mean, these guys were eliminated and rather than put the warm beer in the fridge, cook those meatballs (with no buns), they decided to “hang out” and take a quick “power nap”.

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Maybe we’re being too harsh, maybe it’s the provincial Liberals who can shoulder some of the blame! Didn’t you hear they’re going to start teaching Sex-Ed to Kindergartens! With that and global warming causing us to buy more expensive light bulbs, who can really handle the stresses of a poker host.

I think what we can do, is take a month off, go down south somewhere sunny. Recharge the batteries, get a couple golf games in, a few swims at a beach. After that, we should be relaxed, re-energized and ready to handle the complicated duties of feeding 18 individuals. At the very least, the league could change the event dates around so you could have extra 30 days to plan the event out properly.

Signed,
Where the fuck are my meatballs?
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