Hello there poker fans, this is your favourite poker reporter Cliff “Runner Runner Chaser” McDougal giving you the breakdown for this very important Tourney #7. It has been a crazy season so far and I can only expect to to get even more insane over the next few tournaments. Well to be fair, I expected that nice lady of the evening not to be an officer of the law, so maybe my judgement isn’t the most reliable. But none the less, I need 200 more hours of community service, so here are my thoughts.
As you know poker is a mathematical game, you have to figure out the odds and then decide if the other person is doing the same and then decide if it’s a good idea to be there. Well in this league you do all of this and then add a ton of booze into the equation, I like to call this the Rye Eye effect. With a blood alcohol level of probably .36, Mike has been able to work out the odds and win a tourney (actually 2) this year. Experts are unsure he could see his cards or if him yelling ‘Fuck it I’m all in” was just a mind game against the others.
Speaking of math, Denely may have the statistical worst season ever in the history of Big Boy Poker. Sitting right now at an amazing 1.7 average ppg, he is currently the front runner for having the greatest worst season ever. It’s so bad he has actually backed out of side bets for the season. Well this isn’t new but he is backing out before he even makes them, which is a huge change for him.
Adam and Peter are having bad seasons, but that may just be the fact they do not show up to tournaments. Or maybe it’s the “Fake Gazem” Peter did after winning a hand that has set the tone for the season. Either way they are looking hard at the bottom of the standings and wondering “am I really as bad as Denely is playing right now?”
The Board of Directors for the Big Boy Poker Tournament would like to thank Brian for creating the ‘How the fuck do hosts forget to fill out the doodle” discussion last month. This also was followed up with the “How the fuck did a host forget to fill out the doodle and then complain about the date” discussion. By discussion it was just a lot of laughing and members asking the other if it really happened. And the answer was Yes… Yes it happened.
Mark was so upset about hosting earlier this year he left the country. Now that’s commitment on not wanting to bring pizza and meatballs. Mark may be still upset from the sole read by another player vs. his pocket Queens. We will never know as he really doesn’t show up.
Okay that’s enough about the semantics of hosting; let’s get back to the players.
In the “No Shit” category, Kyle (aka “It’s All Luck”) is still in the lead for the year. Even with a Hiroshima type blow up last tourney, Roos still has the lead. But the Timko Brokers are not far off the #1 spot and will be looking to press this tourney. It’s unsure if Darryl (aka “Rhinestone Cowboy”) will be wearing his throw back to Abba hat this week. It’s also unsure if Jeff (aka “Yes I Chase Like a Mofo”) will chase this week. Sorry that last part was a lie, it’s unsure if he will start chasing cards after the first or second hand this tourney.
In the “I’m not sure if I want to make a run for the money or go for the Joe Bags draw” we have a ton of players in the mix. One of the most noticeable is Miller (aka “I thought I had the nuts”), with his practicable re-raises on Darren (aka “I only like one Raise”) or forgetting to set up the timer. Miller has fallen on hard times faster than a 3 dollar hooker on payday. Speaking of hookers, you know when they say that if you ask someone if they are a cop and they have to say yes if they are… it’s a lie. Just some food for thought there for you. Another face in the middle of the pack is Forsyth. In his usual play of “don’t play enough to be good and don’t play bad enough to play like Denely” people are asking when the Big Gulps of Amaretto are coming out. His style of play doesn’t get better but his jokes do. Let’s hope we see that this weekend. Kevin (aka “Taxi ride home”) is in the mix and people are wondering if the Top Gun jacket is making its way to the next tourney. We were going to ask Chris B what his chances were for this weekend, but he was too busy talking about the hands from 3 tourneys ago and why they didn’t make sense. We hope that Rain Man can find Judge Wapner on his TV and get to Kmart before they close.
In the “It’s okay if it’s in a three-way” category we have Bobby Phil and Danny tied for 5th place. Danny (aka “I wait for the rye and water to start playing”) has been here before and seems calm and relaxed for the tourney. Phil (aka “All about the Royal Flush”) is having a great season and people are rooting for him. Honestly Phil YOU ARE HAVING A GREAT SEASON!! Bobby (aka “When’s Break?”) is having his best season so far. Although his ping pong skills have suffered from making it past the first break, many experts believe he will not have the same outcome remaining tournaments. Although he is having a Cinderella season, let’s all remember that Cinderella gets the royal screwjob at the end and we are sure Bobby will as well.
Good luck to all of those playing this tourney, by the sounds of it; a lot of you fuckers need it. This is Cliff “Runner Runner Chaser” McDougal signing off and reminding you that “Pockets Aces are nice… but not wearing a condom with Filipino hooker is extra, but worth it”