{"id":407,"date":"2016-06-16T14:59:14","date_gmt":"2016-06-16T18:59:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bbpoker.ca\/blog\/?p=407"},"modified":"2016-06-16T14:59:14","modified_gmt":"2016-06-16T18:59:14","slug":"i-cant-believe-youre-so-shit-awards-aka-the-smallies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bbpoker.ca\/blog\/2016\/06\/16\/i-cant-believe-youre-so-shit-awards-aka-the-smallies\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cI can\u2019t believe you\u2019re so shit\u201d Awards AKA The Smallies"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"thesmallies\"<\/a>Welcome the first inaugural award season for being a terrible poker player. If you made the list, you probably need to work harder in the off season – play some online poker, read a book on poker \u2013 and come back next season and try not to end up with a shitty statue (a Smallie).<\/p>\n

Top Gun award (Least improved)<\/strong> \u2013 Mitchell! Went from last place in season 6 to 3rd<\/sup> last in season 7. But we added two players this season, so….\u00a0\"\"<\/p>\n

Jay Salsa award (You should Retire)<\/strong> \u2013 If we graphed Sean\u2019s poker playing over the course of his career it would look be much like:\u00a0\"miller\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t go in There award (It smells like shit) <\/strong>– He had record quad-dump at a tournament this year.\u00a0 Put your gas masks on for Mr. Open Door Shits: Darren!\u00a0\"\"<\/p>\n

Bobby Bails award (Most tournaments missed)<\/strong> \u2013 This was a tough one as Adam bailed on the whole season but did find a replacement who was suitable to his style of play.\u00a0 So we\u2019re tossing this Smallie in the lap of Pete W.\u00a0 He started off the season strong but went MIA on the last few tournaments. His Cruel Intentions co-star has also thrown him\u00a0in under bus. Guess he\u2019s never seen Band of Brothers.<\/p>\n

Dirty River Rat award<\/strong> \u2013 This despicable award goes to Gaige with his infamous trip kings over bullets on Bobby. What made this hand even worse is that 12-Gaige put Bobby on Aces and still called. \u00a0Let’s not forget the 4th king that was in another player’s hand.<\/p>\n

How could you call that award<\/strong> \u2013 “This is a story of a Hurricane. A player the league came to name, for cards he didn\u2019t know how to play… Yet in mind he was the champion of the wooorld\u2026”<\/p>\n

Fake Gasm award (Did he just do that? Award<\/strong>) \u2013 Weather he was playing cards or talking in conversation, we all thought it more than once: \u201cBryan, did you really just do that?\u201d Boom. Roasted.<\/p>\n

I think time stopped with your internal struggle to call or fold award<\/strong> \u2013 Darren P didn\u2019t really struggle with calling because he was set on auto fold. Still it took him a record 20 minutes to fold in a tournament where he came in third. \u00a0Coincidently it was the latest a tournament ended all year!<\/p>\n

Worst Host of the Year –<\/strong> \u00a0Mitch and Doyle’s host was so bad they didn’t even stay around for to see how it finished. Mitchell escaped out the front door as soon as his poor play cost him the tournament and Doyle houdini’d the fuck out only to reappear as bodies were heading out the door. But at least the mother fuckin’ cheese was cut!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Welcome the first inaugural award season for being a terrible poker player. If you made the list, you probably need to work harder in the off season – play some…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bbpoker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/407"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bbpoker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bbpoker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bbpoker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bbpoker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=407"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bbpoker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/407\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bbpoker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=407"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bbpoker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=407"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bbpoker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=407"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}